An African wedding in Gabon
An African-style wedding is like a play that takes place in several acts. The wedding I attended was between a woman, whose traditions are between the Fang and Bamileke customs, and a man of Bapounou custom.
1st act: The announcement to families
The future newlyweds have announced to their respective families their intention to unite 6 months in advance. It is rather short as delay. Most often families have an average of 1 year to prepare.
2nd act: The preparation of the ceremony
Scene 1: The choice of the custom for the ceremony
The wedding took place according to the customs of the woman (a mix of customs Fang and Bamileke). This is always the case when the man and the woman are of different customs. It is the man who comes to marry, so he does it according to the customs of the woman.
Scene 2: The choice of the loincloth
The loincloth or wax is a piece of cloth often of very bright colors which is very widespread in the countries of sub-Saharan Africa. He is very present in African marriages.
The families of the future bride and groom choose different wax patterns. They communicate them to their respective guests. Each of the guests is supposed to buy the motif of wax that has been communicated to him to be made an outfit that he will wear the D-day.
Scene 3: The number of guests
It seems that the two families have agreed to a number of guests included in 300 and 400 people.
Scene 4: Family reunions
Since it is the custom of the woman that will prevail during the ceremony, it is necessary that the family of the man get impregnated. This is the purpose of family reunions. The two families met regularly during the 4 months preceding the wedding to agree on the ceremony content in order to prevent any surprise on the day of the wedding. It is also on the occasion of these family reunions that the content of the dowry is discussed, that is to say, the presents that will be brought by the family of the man on the wedding day and also the sum of money that will be given the day before the wedding.
Each family also meets regularly on its side to discuss the contribution of its members and possible blockages in the organization.
Each family also meets regularly on its side to discuss the contribution of its members and possible blockages in the organization.
Scene 5: The installation of the wedding scene
The wedding scene is a central element in the wedding ceremony according to Bamileke custom. There are two large tents facing each other, there is a large empty space in the middle where the talks will take place. One of the tents (left on the picture) is reserved for the family of the woman (who receives) and the other is reserved for the family of the man (who is received).
To the left of the tent reserved for the woman's family, there is a space where the future newlyweds will be installed once their union has been sealed.
Set back from the wedding scene, there is a gigantic tent where guests will be seated to share a buffet at the end of the traditional wedding.
The installation of the wedding scene began the day before the wedding. A first company came to install tents, chairs and tables the day before the wedding. A second company took care of the decoration the next morning.
Deadlines may seem surprising because there is no room for a misstep but it often happens that way. Traditional weddings are very common in Libreville and the material can not be mobilized for too long. In this regard, the day after the wedding at 7:00 am the company that installed the equipment was already there to recover.
Deadlines may seem surprising because there is no room for a misstep but it often happens that way. Traditional weddings are very common in Libreville and the material can not be mobilized for too long. In this regard, the day after the wedding at 7:00 am the company that installed the equipment was already there to recover.
Scene 6: The decoration
The decoration, by the colors and the accessories, were very Gabonese. Green, yellow and blue were very present. There were also a lot of accessories made from raffia (a fiber made from palm leaves) that was used at one time in the different Gabonese communities to weave different accessories from everyday life (baskets, hats, clothes ...)
Scene 7: Drinking and Eating
It is the family of the future bride who receives. It is therefore on her that the organization of the traditional wedding and therefore of the buffet at the end of the ceremony rests.
Family reunions also serve to clarify each other's participation. Some give money, others pledge to bring food (bushmeat, drinks ...), others to give their time when the time comes. There are even some who will spontaneously offer their services at the last moments, a few hours before the wedding, and others who have nothing to offer.
In summary everyone does as he sees fit. This implies having an experienced and responsive project manager who will know how to manage the planned and the unforeseen. It is the mother of the bride who played this role.
Family reunions also serve to clarify each other's participation. Some give money, others pledge to bring food (bushmeat, drinks ...), others to give their time when the time comes. There are even some who will spontaneously offer their services at the last moments, a few hours before the wedding, and others who have nothing to offer.
In summary everyone does as he sees fit. This implies having an experienced and responsive project manager who will know how to manage the planned and the unforeseen. It is the mother of the bride who played this role.
The dowry often involves a sum of money and presents. In the Bamileke custom, the sum of money is not deposited on the day of the ceremony in front of the guests, but the day before the ceremony in a small committee.
The future bridegroom, accompanied by the closest members of his family, is expected at the in-laws' house whose assistance is also made up of closest members of the family of the future bride.
Discussions begin and at some point, the man's family deposits a sum of money on a table. It is the future bride if she accepts who gets the money back and hands it over to the head of her family. This is a rather short discussion because everyone has in mind the ceremony the next day.
The future bridegroom, accompanied by the closest members of his family, is expected at the in-laws' house whose assistance is also made up of closest members of the family of the future bride.
Discussions begin and at some point, the man's family deposits a sum of money on a table. It is the future bride if she accepts who gets the money back and hands it over to the head of her family. This is a rather short discussion because everyone has in mind the ceremony the next day.
4th act: The ceremony
Scene 1: The barriers erected in front of the in-laws
It would be too easy for the groom's family to simply enter the wedding scene. No, no! The tradition is that they pass barriers. It seems that in general there is a good dozen. However, in the present case there was only one rather symbolic barrier.
It sounds like a giant fight but it is not. The families of the future spouses are facing each other at the entrance of the concession of the family of the woman. The women of the woman's family demand a right of passage to the family of the man. The goal for the woman's family is that the right of passage is as high as possible. Conversely, the goal of the man's family is to pay as little as possible. It is also a way to test the motivation of each other vis-à-vis the next marriage. It can take hours. We were lucky because the "fight" lasted only about an hour.
It sounds like a giant fight but it is not. The families of the future spouses are facing each other at the entrance of the concession of the family of the woman. The women of the woman's family demand a right of passage to the family of the man. The goal for the woman's family is that the right of passage is as high as possible. Conversely, the goal of the man's family is to pay as little as possible. It is also a way to test the motivation of each other vis-à-vis the next marriage. It can take hours. We were lucky because the "fight" lasted only about an hour.
Scene 2: The installation of the in-laws
Once the future bridegroom's family has passed the barrier, they settle in the tent reserved for them. The groom and the closest members of his family are at the forefront. They settle but do not sit down.
Scene 3: The opening of the ceremony
From the moment when the family of the man is installed, the continuation of the ceremony is orchestrated by the speakers. Each family has its own speaker. It is a "professional" who is there to defend the interests of the family.
Thus, as a welcome, the speaker of the girl's family began to speak in the Bamileke dialect, which, of course, the man's family does not understand. It was at this moment that the head of the family stood up to welcome the family of the man while inviting them to sit down. He took the opportunity to ask them to find a solution so that the speaker finds his French.
A few moments later, the speaker of the man's family was advancing to the woman's family tent to deposit a sum of money. Which naturally allowed the speaker of woman's family to regain his French.
Thus, as a welcome, the speaker of the girl's family began to speak in the Bamileke dialect, which, of course, the man's family does not understand. It was at this moment that the head of the family stood up to welcome the family of the man while inviting them to sit down. He took the opportunity to ask them to find a solution so that the speaker finds his French.
A few moments later, the speaker of the man's family was advancing to the woman's family tent to deposit a sum of money. Which naturally allowed the speaker of woman's family to regain his French.
Scene 4: The Talks
This is how the discussion started. I do not pretend to transcribe in an exhaustive way the course of the exchanges as they were dense but I think to have captured crucial moments that I relate in the following paragraphs.
Scene 5: "The first exit of the future bride"
Always in order to probe the motivation of the bridegroom, the speaker gave him a little test. He asked him if he was able to recognize his future wife between 1000. The words quickly gave way to action. The future bridegroom did not have to recognize his bride between 1000, too easy!
A young woman covered from head to toe advanced between the two tents 1.5 meters from the bridegroom. He had no right to touch her. She could spin on herself if he wanted to. He had to say if it was his bride.
He was very well inspired. He guessed it was not his future wife. Everyone applauded because it is a decisive moment in a traditional wedding ceremony.
It would have been far more complicated if the bridegroom had made a mistake. The speaker would have removed the garment that covered the young woman's head. Everyone would have seen that it was not the future bride. The girl's family would have gathered in secret to decide a fine ... Phew, we avoided the worst.
A young woman covered from head to toe advanced between the two tents 1.5 meters from the bridegroom. He had no right to touch her. She could spin on herself if he wanted to. He had to say if it was his bride.
He was very well inspired. He guessed it was not his future wife. Everyone applauded because it is a decisive moment in a traditional wedding ceremony.
It would have been far more complicated if the bridegroom had made a mistake. The speaker would have removed the garment that covered the young woman's head. Everyone would have seen that it was not the future bride. The girl's family would have gathered in secret to decide a fine ... Phew, we avoided the worst.
Scene 6: The 2nd exit of the future bride
Now that the future bridegroom has emerged victorious from the previous test, his future wife must really be coming out. And here she embarks on a very rhythmic procession accompanied by the women of her family who unfurls a traditional carpet so that she is never in direct contact with the ground. She is still wearing a traditional clothing in the colors of the wax that she chose with her family. She wears on her back a raffia basket that her ancestors used for picking fruits and vegetables. She holds in front of her face a kind of "fan" that just allows to catch a glimpse of her for whoever is in front of her. On the other hand those who look at her from the sides can see her face without hindrance. This is how she is escorted to her family's tent and she settles right in front of the head of the family on a seat specially designed for her.
Talks are committed for the future bride to drop the "fan" that veils her face. The speaker of the family of the man ends up approaching the tent of the family of the woman and poses a sum of money at the feet of the future bride. After having the approval of the members of her family, she finally lowers the fan and her face is revealed to all without restriction.
Talks are committed for the future bride to drop the "fan" that veils her face. The speaker of the family of the man ends up approaching the tent of the family of the woman and poses a sum of money at the feet of the future bride. After having the approval of the members of her family, she finally lowers the fan and her face is revealed to all without restriction.
Scene 7: The disposition of the dowry
This passage was not very fluid because normally once the future bride is installed with her family, the in-laws must understand that it is time to deposit the dowry. The speaker of the woman's family had to redouble two-way sentences to make it clear that it was time the time.
A few minutes later the frenzy seized some people who came with the family of the future bridegroom. Two traditional carpets in raffia, 2 square meters each, are placed on the floor in the middle of the space between the two tents. This marks the beginning of the comings and goings of a dozen people who carry a lot of goods they deposit on traditional carpets. Ten minutes later, salted fish, spices, loincloths, cooking oil, rice, beer, wine, soft drinks, axes, machetes... can be found on those carpets. But no money because remember the two families met the day before the wedding.
A few minutes later the frenzy seized some people who came with the family of the future bridegroom. Two traditional carpets in raffia, 2 square meters each, are placed on the floor in the middle of the space between the two tents. This marks the beginning of the comings and goings of a dozen people who carry a lot of goods they deposit on traditional carpets. Ten minutes later, salted fish, spices, loincloths, cooking oil, rice, beer, wine, soft drinks, axes, machetes... can be found on those carpets. But no money because remember the two families met the day before the wedding.
Scene 8: The acceptance of the dowry
Once the dowry is deposited, the future bride gets up and checks that it matches the list that both families had agreed on a few weeks ago.
If the account is good, she announces it. It is at this moment that the speaker of her family asks her if she accepts the marriage? His response is another important moment in the unfolding of a traditional wedding ceremony. Of course, she answered YES! Her answer had the power to trigger the clamor of the audience.
If the account is good, she announces it. It is at this moment that the speaker of her family asks her if she accepts the marriage? His response is another important moment in the unfolding of a traditional wedding ceremony. Of course, she answered YES! Her answer had the power to trigger the clamor of the audience.
Scene 9: The show that follows the acceptance of the dowry
Once the bride has validated the wedding, traditional dancers enter the stage. While they set the mood, the bride takes the opportunity to slip away and some family members take the opportunity to recover the dowry and put it away.
Inevitably both dancers wear clothes that mix raffia and more contemporary patterns. They dance to the rhythms of a traditional Fang popular music. They are in communion with the public, so much so that they allow themselves to challenge people taken at random. It's a moment of joy.
Inevitably both dancers wear clothes that mix raffia and more contemporary patterns. They dance to the rhythms of a traditional Fang popular music. They are in communion with the public, so much so that they allow themselves to challenge people taken at random. It's a moment of joy.
Scene 10: The 3rd exit of the future bride
The distraction has worked, people have lost the thread of events and now the bride comes out a second time always accompanied by the women of her family but a detail makes it not like the first exit. She wears an outfit in the color of the loincloth of her husband's family.
Scene 11: The crossing to the tent of the in-laws
She settles close to the head of her family. This is the beginning of the last talks between the two speakers so that she can cross and join the tent of the family of her husband. This time the speaker of the bride's family is giving advice to the bride and her in-laws. He wants to make sure that everyone will be able to act appropriately in case of difficulty.
Once the speaker has obtained the guarantees of the bride and in-law through their speaker, then the bride can be driven by her family to her in-laws' tent. She sits symbolically on her mother-in-law's lap. It's a strong symbol. This means that the matriarch of her new family accepts her and the bride recognizes her authority.
Once the speaker has obtained the guarantees of the bride and in-law through their speaker, then the bride can be driven by her family to her in-laws' tent. She sits symbolically on her mother-in-law's lap. It's a strong symbol. This means that the matriarch of her new family accepts her and the bride recognizes her authority.
Scene 12: The installation in the space of the newlyweds
It has come time for the newlyweds to join the space that has been specially arranged for them. They are accompanied by members of both families. They receive their guests who congratulate them, take pictures with them and sometimes make them a gift.
Scene 13: The role of the DJ
The DJ has an important role in this type of ceremony. First of all, he must immerse himself in the musical styles of each of the two cultures in order to propose a musical composition in which the two families recognize each other. In addition, he must inquire about the origin of guests to complete his playlist. That's how there was with US music in the playlist.
Then, the DJ must accompany the verbal jousting of the speakers with musical effects to give rhythm. He must fill empty moments with appropriate music. In summary, he must be focused on the sequence of events to put the right sound at the right time.
Then, the DJ must accompany the verbal jousting of the speakers with musical effects to give rhythm. He must fill empty moments with appropriate music. In summary, he must be focused on the sequence of events to put the right sound at the right time.
5th act: The opening of the buffet
After congratulating the newlyweds, the guests gradually settle down to the tables reserved for them. An hour later, they are joined by the newlyweds who settle at the head table.
The opening of the buffet is imminent. Hostesses are very caring with the bride and groom. The guests are not so lucky. They get up one table after another to go and serve themselves. On the menus there are different starters, dozens of dishes (noodle, manioc leaves, mbongo tchobi, grilled fish or whole fish stewed, grilled or stewed chickens, braised pigs, game, native cake, samosas ...) and many side dishes (plantain bananas, rice, tubers, manioc ...).
There are the "cautious ones" who fill up their plates as much as possible for fear that the stoves will empty quickly. There are the "unconscious ones" who opted for the opposite method. In the end everybody finds his account. There will remain so many foods that many guests will prepare a "doggy bag".
Hostesses are at the disposal of the guests for the drinks service. People seem satisfied. The meal is all the more appreciated because the last 5 hours have been dedicated to the previous stages of the traditional wedding.
Of course, there is music all along the buffet. The more adventurous will sketch a dance step after the dessert disposed on each table as decoration.
The opening of the buffet is imminent. Hostesses are very caring with the bride and groom. The guests are not so lucky. They get up one table after another to go and serve themselves. On the menus there are different starters, dozens of dishes (noodle, manioc leaves, mbongo tchobi, grilled fish or whole fish stewed, grilled or stewed chickens, braised pigs, game, native cake, samosas ...) and many side dishes (plantain bananas, rice, tubers, manioc ...).
There are the "cautious ones" who fill up their plates as much as possible for fear that the stoves will empty quickly. There are the "unconscious ones" who opted for the opposite method. In the end everybody finds his account. There will remain so many foods that many guests will prepare a "doggy bag".
Hostesses are at the disposal of the guests for the drinks service. People seem satisfied. The meal is all the more appreciated because the last 5 hours have been dedicated to the previous stages of the traditional wedding.
Of course, there is music all along the buffet. The more adventurous will sketch a dance step after the dessert disposed on each table as decoration.
6th act: The separation
People are going away gradually. The bride leaves the family house with her husband. The last guest will be leaving around 2:00 am. It must be said that we have an appointment the next morning for another day of celebrations ...
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